


Please Mr. Postman

by KyloTrashForever



Series: Oneshots [7]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1960s, Ben Is A Softboi, Ben Wants To Give Rey A Package Of A Different Kind, Devoted Reylo, F/M, Housewife Rey, I Say Again Ben Is Soft, Like 3000 Words Of It Jesus Christ, Marriage Proposal, Mutual Pining, No Seriously Ben Is So Soft Serta Should Pay Him Royalties, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Postman Ben, Sappiest Shit I Ever Wrote, Tumblr Prompt, Vaginal Sex, lavender marriage, oh the pining, smut at the end, too much plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 13:03:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16493138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KyloTrashForever/pseuds/KyloTrashForever
Summary: For over a year Ben has delivered mail to the Damerons, a newlywed couple from Raleigh. For over a year Ben has fallen harder and harder for the sweet wonder that is Rey Dameron, cursing his luck that he didn’t meet her first. Only, Rey’s marriage isn’t what it seems, and he isn’t the only one falling.





	Please Mr. Postman

**Author's Note:**

> A prompt given to me by my lovely tumblr friend, noneofyabuzziness! It took me (as it always does it seems) much too long to fill! I blame the fact that I can’t seem to fill a prompt without clocking around 10,000 words. Whew. Anyway, I hope it was worth the wait!  
> Needless to say, I’ve listened to the [Marvelettes](https://youtu.be/425GpjTSlS4) incessantly during this fic’s conception.  
> Shoutout to [stories_in_my_head](https://archiveofourown.org/users/stories_in_my_head/pseuds/stories_in_my_head) for bouncing ideas with me and keeping me on track. (Sort of, there were a lot of Parnassus tangents.) XD

 

* * *

  _Ben_

 _Another_ _one_. That made two this week. How many trinkets could she possibly need? He took a deep breath, tucking the small package back into his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. Delivering Mrs. Dameron’s mail was both the high and low point of his day, the small moments when he was allowed to speak with her both wonderful and agonizing.

She and her husband had moved in over a year ago after their wedding. He remembered the affair, the hot shot pilot from the city moving down to the suburbs to settle down with his pretty wife. Oh, and pretty she was... the first time he’d seen her, he had actually forgotten how to speak for a moment. He’d stood there on the stoop, clutching her mail and simply staring at her. 

She’d let him off easy, gently reminding him of his purpose there and giving him a sweet smile before disappearing back inside. He’d learned since then how to function around her, but his breath still caught slightly each time she pulled open her door. 

Her husband wasn’t around very often, always off on business trips all over the country and as far as Ben could tell she spent more time alone than she did with him. It soured his mood, thinking of her in that big house all by herself. If she were his... but she wasn’t. He had to remind himself of that fact often. She never would be either. She was married. To a _pilot_ no less. Ben was only a postman. Nothing glamorous about that. 

He trudged down the sidewalk, his emotions at war as they wrestled between excitement and dread. When he rounded the corner to her street, he faltered, seeing her standing in her yard watering her flowers. The soft pink of her dress fluttered around her knees in the breeze, and Ben could only stare at its movement as it danced around her legs, holding him transfixed for several seconds.

He shook his head lightly to pull himself from his stupor, continuing down the sidewalk to finish what he’d come for. Her husband sent her things several times a week, whether it be a small package or a postcard, there was something for her every other day. Each one filled Ben with a sick sense of jealousy, their blatant marital bliss like a kick in the teeth.

She turned when she heard his footsteps approaching, flashing a bright smile that threatened to steal his breath. Ben swallowed thickly, offering a shaky smile of his own before turning to pull her package from his bag. 

“Good morning, Ben.” 

He nodded back at her. “Good morning, Mrs. Dameron.”

She frowned. “Now Ben, how many times have I asked you to call me Rey?”

He shrugged. “At least once more I guess.”

She chuckled softly as she shook her head. “Did you bring me something?”

Ben nodded as he handed her the tiny parcel, watching as her face lit up when she took it. She shook it lightly, her expression like that of a child’s at Christmas time. “I wonder what it could be?”

Ben couldn’t help but grin back, her sunny demeanor infectious. “Only one way to find out.”

She nodded gleefully, tearing into the packaging with vigor to get at whatever it held. A small pouch lay inside, and she dug around inside it to pull out a handful of tiny colored drops wrapped in wax paper. 

“Taffy!” she squealed. “He knows I love candy.”

She unwrapped a piece to pop it into her mouth, moaning lightly as she chewed and causing Ben’s mouth to go dry. She turned her attention back to him then, holding out a spare piece. “Would you like one?”

He nodded dumbly, Rey unwrapping the morsel and offering it to him. He could have plucked it from her fingers, as he should have, but when she held the bright red candy out to him, he seemed to lose all his senses. He leaned, plucking it from her fingers with nothing but his lips and pulling it into his mouth. 

Her mouth fell open, the pair of them equally stunned by what he’d done and falling silent. For the life of him he could not scramble for any sort of explanation as to his inappropriate behavior, and all he could think to do was retreat. He muttered out a thank you and goodbye, feeling his face heat as she watched him go. 

He had no idea how he would face her again, embarrassed beyond belief that he’d practically put her fingers in his mouth. Rey Dameron must think that he was a bonafide creep. He chewed the sticky treat slowly as he escaped, knowing that he’d never be able to taste strawberry again without thinking of her.

* * *

_Rey_

Rey stood against the closed front door for much longer than was necessary, willing her heart to calm. She had been shocked when Ben had leaned in to take the candy from her with only his mouth, the sensation of his lips on her skin enough to steal her breath. He’d left so quickly after she’d barely had time to process what had happened, and still her pulse raced as if he’d kissed her. 

She thanked her lucky stars that Mr. Esso hadn’t been milling about in his yard as he often did, knowing that he would have things to say about the less than appropriate encounter she’d just had with the Postman. Worse, he’d spread his opinions all over town. She couldn’t do that to Poe.

Rey lived the perfect life. She had the perfect house, the perfect husband... the only problem was, _none_ _of_ _it_ _was_ _real_. She’d known Poe Dameron since she was only a child, having been lucky enough to be placed with his family by the foster system when she was only ten years old.

She’d grew up with him, seeing him as the older brother she’d never had and he’d protected her in turn. For the last fifteen years they’d been there for each other, looked out for each other, _confided_ in each other. 

So naturally, when a deadly rumor began to spread through the ranks of his flight school that threatened to out his darkest secret, of _course_  Rey stepped in to help. 

Being a homosexual in 1962 was nothing to take lightly, and for Poe, it would have cost him everything. Rey did the only thing she could do. 

She married him.

She hadn’t hesitated, never considering what it might do to her own personal life and jumping in headfirst without thought to protect the only brother she’d ever known. She would die before she saw him hurt. She’d never regret her decision for a moment. Not until she met _him_. 

The first time she’d opened her door to Ben Solo, she’d almost forgotten how to breathe. She’d plastered what she hoped was a friendly smile on her face, waiting for him to say something, _anything_ , but he’d stood on her porch as if he was as lost as she was. 

Then she remembered who she was. 

She’d took her package, her newfound sense of quandary ensnaring her senses. She’d never experienced the type of terrifying feelings Ben Solo had caused her to feel. They were something new and a bit alarming. 

What’s worse, they were completely useless. By all accounts and purposes, she was a married woman. In the eyes of the entire town she was Mrs. Poe Dameron, happily married to the illustrious commercial pilot from Raleigh. When they’d moved out to Knightdale, it had been to start fresh, to leave the whispers of those who would seek to tear Poe down behind. 

Rey hadn’t had much of a plan beyond saving Poe’s reputation by tying her life to his, but lately she found herself wondering if she could keep up the charade for much longer. Almost every day she was forced to speak to Ben Solo as if he didn’t make her heart race or her stomach flutter. She was forced to pretend that he meant nothing more than the letters he brought. 

She stared down at the pouch of salt water taffy Poe had sent, smiling softly at the gift. He sent her little things often, even if it were as minuscule as a postcard. Little somethings to let her know she wasn’t alone. She loved that about him. He was everything she could ask for in a brother and a friend. 

Now however, it was not Poe that was on her mind as she stared down at the bright red candy that lay in her palm. No, instead the tiny morsel brought forth images of deep brown eyes, midnight hair, full lips, and the soft azure of a postman’s uniform. Blue had become her favorite color as of late, and she couldn’t see any shade of it without her mind conjuring up the memory of her favorite mail carrier. The amount of time she spent thinking about him was actually becoming a real problem. 

She popped the chewy treat into her mouth, savoring the flavor as she worked it between her teeth. The explosive taste of strawberry coated her tongue, and she smiled softly as she finished her candy. She pressed her fingers to her lips, her dizzied daydreams almost able to allow her to imagine that in this indirect way they’d shared a kiss. As the sweet flavor still coated her tongue, she knew without a doubt she would never be able to taste strawberry again without thinking of him.

* * *

  _Ben_

He was making a much bigger deal about this than he should. He’d eaten a piece of candy. It was nothing to be this worked up over. Surely Rey had already forgotten it. It had been two days since then, the universe allowing him a small kindness and there not being any mail for her household the day after the incident with the salt water taffy. 

Surely it had not been as mortifying as he remembered. _She_  wouldn’t still be thinking about the way her fingers had felt against his lips, or even the taste of her skin as it had slid unbidden against his tongue. She would have chalked his odd behavior up to just that, odd. They would never speak of it, it would fade away and that was that. 

He held the postcard from Mr. Dameron in his hands, a tropical scene printed on the front and a short note on the back. Ben knew that reading her mail was wrong on so many levels, but he found himself unable to keep from perusing the tight scrawl of Poe Dameron adorned on the back. 

 _Rey_ ,   
_Missing_ _you_ _every_ _day_. _Wish_ _you_ _were_ _here!_    
_Love,_  
_Poe_

Ben couldn’t even find it in himself to be angry, it was neither Rey nor Poe’s fault that they were happy. Ben couldn’t even find it in himself to hate Poe. Save for his long absences he seemed to be every bit the doting husband, treating Rey the way she deserved to be treated and despite his longing of her he was happy that she was happy.

He was somewhat disappointed when he rounded the corner to her street to find her yard empty, knowing that since he hadn’t brought her a package he had no reason to knock on her door. Instead he would just slip the postcard into her mailbox, knowing it was probably for the best that he didn’t see her. Just in case she _hadn’t_ forgotten the little incident with the taffy.

He neared her mailbox, stepping up to it to lower the lid and placing the postcard inside. Of course _that_ would be the moment that she chose to step outside, her front door opening with a creak as she ventured out onto her front porch. She had a watering can in her hand, and he surmised she had planned to tend to her flower bed again. 

She wore green today, the fitted top of her dress hugging her perfectly before flaring outwards at the waist. Was there a color that existed that she didn’t make her own? Ben didn’t think so. 

“Good morning, Ben,” she called, her ever present grin pulling at her lips.

“Good morning, Mrs. Dameron.” 

Her brow furrowed, giving a chastising shake of her head. “One of these days you will call me Rey.”

He felt the tips of his ears heat, his errant thoughts conjuring up several scenarios in which he’d like to call her by name. Preferably whispered into her hair as he— no. Those thoughts were dangerous. 

She waltzed up to him, her steps light an airy as if floating and he took note of the slim fit of her dress. It hugged her waist sensually, the top button undone at her collar and allowing him a tantalizing peek of bare skin. 

“What did you bring me today?”

He swallowed around the lump in his throat, her nearness making the floral scent of her perfume all the more apparent. She smelled like honeysuckle, as sweet as the treats she so enjoyed. “Just a postcard today.”

She reached inside the mailbox, giving the back of the card a quick once over and smiling softly to herself. God, did he wish he could be the one to put that smile on her face. 

Noticing a bit of fuzz in her hair, his hand reached out instinctively. “Oh, you’ve got a little something...”

His fingers brushed against the silken curls at her ear, a tingle shooting into his fingertips as they grazed against the shell of her ear. It jarred him, the physical reaction he had from such a minimal touch and for a moment his hand lay suspended as they could only stare at each other. His eyes went to the soft swell of her pink lips, parted slightly as she peered up at him through her lashes. For a moment it was easy to pretend she was just as affected as he was.

A distinct clearing of a throat pulled them from their small moment, Ben turning to see her neighbor peering over his fence with a look of reproach. “Good morning, Mr. Solo,” Mr. Esso greeted, turning them to Rey with a frown. “And you, _Mrs_. Dameron. Any news from your _husband_?”

Mr. Esso’s message was clear, it was not proper for them to be so familiar with one another. Ben quickly stepped back, ashamed that he’d overstepped yet again. Something about Rey rid him of all his senses. His only dominant thought when he was close to her was of how he could get even _closer_. 

Ben’s eyes went to the ground, shame flooding through him. “Have a good day, Mrs. Dameron,” he offered regretfully, his heart feeling heavy in his chest. Maybe he should request another route. Surely anything would be better than torturing himself day after day. Still, in that moment he wasn’t sure what was worse, the thought of continuing to see her knowing he couldn’t have her... or the idea of never seeing her again.

* * *

  _Rey_

Damn that nosey neighbor of hers. She wanted to smack him with the rake he was currently using. He watched her suspiciously with raised brows, still peering over his fence at her. Incensed, she dropped her watering can on the front steps of her porch, stomping back inside. 

She felt like a prisoner in her own home, a slave to the choices she’d made. Each fleeting moment with Ben filled her with more yearning than any she’d ever felt in her adult life. She wondered what it might be like to touch him freely, for him to touch her in turn. She’d imagined his hands, large and strong and what they might feel like on her skin. 

Such lewd thoughts were completely new to her, the only man in her life having been Poe and certainly nothing had ever happened on _that_ front. She wondered if she could please a man like Ben. Would he be gentle? Rough? She wasn’t even sure which she preferred. Any thought of Ben in such a way made her shiver with a sensation that was alien and forbidden. 

She knew the best course of action would be to come clean with Poe, knowing that he wouldn’t want her to suffer because of him. She supposed the only thing that had stopped her was the fear that perhaps Ben didn’t return her feelings. Only... she’d seen the way he looked at her, the way he’d sometimes seemed as entrances as she was. 

It was in those moments that she imagined another life. A life without responsibility or obligation. One that was hers, where she could be true to herself and her own wants. She only feared that life would cost Poe his, that without the safety net of their lie he would fall victim once again to the spiteful whisperings of stunted men.

Still, she knew Poe would want her to be happy, and for the first time in her life she felt less than. She was... discontent, something she hadn’t experience since the early days of her sordid childhood. She’d been so grateful to the Damerons, to Poe, that she had never once considered her own wants and desires. Everything she did she did with them in mind. 

She leaned against the door, body still flushed from Ben’s closeness. Her mind was plagued with the image of dark eyes and full lips. She imagined those same lips passing over her skin, leaving her breathless and needy in a way that was unfamiliar to her. She let her hand skirt over the slope of her belly, settling between her legs from under her skirt with a hushed fervor that made her blood heat.

Pushing aside her underwear, she imagined it was not her slim fingers that traced through her slick folds, but instead Ben’s large ones. She closed her eyes as she let herself imagine it was him giving her pleasure, unable to push his expression as he’d stared at her from her mind. 

She was close, so impossibly close that she could hear a rushing of blood in her ears. Pleasure crested deep in her belly, blooming outwards and threatening to break. Only a few moments more and she would— 

She jolted as a knock sounded against her door, her face heated and her heart pounding rapidly in her chest. She quickly sorted her skirt, patting her hair and hoping it wasn’t mussed as she pulled the door open. 

Her mouth fell open to find Ben once more on her porch, stunned for a moment as she realized how close he’d been as she’d sought pleasure to the thought of him. 

“I... I forgot this,” he explained, holding out their newspaper. She took it slowly, still inauspiciously attempting to calm her breathing. He eyed her concernedly, his brow furrowing as he regarded her flustered state. “Are you okay?”

She nodded a little too quickly, unable to meet his gaze. “Ye-yes. I’m fine.”

“Your face is so red... are you feeling alright?” he pressed, taking a step towards her. She backed away instinctively, her eagerness to get away leaving him looking chastised and wounded. 

“Oh, well alright then,” he affirmed meekly. “Sorry to bother you.”

She watched him walk away, wanting to tell him how wrong he was. How badly she _wanted_  him to bother her. Instead she said nothing, watching his retreating figure and feeling more lost in that moment than she ever had. She knew this could not continue, this heart wrenching longing that consumed her so. Poe would return soon, and she knew in her heart she had far too much to tell him. 

* * *

  _Ben_

Nine days. The longest he’d went without seeing her smile since she’d first arrived in Knightdale. He’d traded routes with a coworker, unable to stand another second of seeing her face and knowing he couldn’t have her. His plan had went smoothly for a short time, until Mrs. Holdo’s devil spawn of a dog had bit the other postman. Complaints had been filed, and Ben found himself once again on the dreaded route that would bring him right back to Rey.

His stomach roiled with nerves, unsure as to what seeing her again would do. The distance had done nothing to lessen his feelings, her bright eyes and wide smile the only thing he saw when he closed his eyes. 

He knew he was in love with her, a useless, hopeless realization that had become all too obvious in the blaring loneliness he’d felt at having not been able to see her. Their moments were fleeting, their conversations polite, and yet each handful of seconds spent with Rey were brighter than any multitude of moments spent without her. 

He didn’t know if he could do this much longer, this sweet torture he subjected himself to. He needed to find a permanent replacement for his route, his only chance at any sort of reprieve from this constant hell. After all, that’s what it was. Hell. Even if a small part of him was certain he’d travel there and back if she asked him to, he knew that level of devotion was utterly insane when it was reserved for someone who would never return his feelings. 

So he steeled his spine, he squashed his longing, he did his job. He could handle seeing her. He’d done it for the greater part of a year. What was a while longer? 

He held the package in his hands, not from her husband this time thankfully, just an ordinary package from some non descriptive company. At least the universe had given him that small gift. He didn’t think he could bear to watch her fawn over another surprise from him.

Her yard was empty, her watering can sitting at the edge of the porch as if she’d already tended her flowers for the day. He took a deep breath to steady himself, pushing through the wooden gate that opened to her walkway and striding up the path towards her front door. His hand hovered for only a moment before knocking, knowing it was better to get this over with.

He waited with bated breath, a terrible fluttering in his stomach as he waited for her to answer. When he finally heard the turning of the handle, he thought he might actually be sick. 

All his worry morphed to crushing disappointment when her husband answered the door.

“Oh, hey!” he greeted cheerfully. “Morning! Bring anything good?”

“Oh, yeah. Something for your wife,” he muttered, thrusting the package into his hands. 

“Ah, darn. She’s not here yet. I just got in. Thought I’d surprise her,” he told Ben, winking conspiratorially. 

“That’s— that’s really great. She’ll be so happy to see you.” Ben replied with as much enthusiasm he could muster. 

Poe chuckled, leaning in as if to share a secret. “Between you and me she’ll probably be more excited about the snacks I brought her. My girl loves her sweets.”

My girl.

 _My_ girl.

 _My_ _girl_.

The words echoed in Ben’s head like a penny down a dry well, clattering into the depths and settling at the bottom to rot. It drove home the cold truth that he already knew. 

Rey was not his... and she never would be.

He offered Poe what he hoped was a good natured grin, hiding the soul crushing revelation as best he could. He said his goodbyes, forcing himself not to full on run from their house in his pressing need to put distance between him and it. Things had to change.

The mail would keep coming to this house, but Ben knew he couldn’t any longer.

* * *

  _Rey_

Rey felt lighter than she had in a long time. She was nervous about her decision to come clean to Poe, sure, but once she’d actually _made_  that decision... she felt so free. She knew Poe would support her. He loved her. Of course he would. 

He was due home any day now, and she found herself desperate to see him. Not only because she missed him terribly, but also because the longer she held the truth inside her the more it begged to be let out. She’d been in town most of the morning, picking up a few things they needed at home and finally she was able to make the walk back. 

When she neared her street, she was more than surprised to see a familiar figure turning the corner ahead. Her heart fluttered in her chest at the sight of him, having to staunch the urge to run to him. When he finally noticed her coming up the way, he halted in his tracks. His eyes held some deep sadness that cut her to her core, and she wished more than anything to comfort him. 

“Good morning, Ben,” she tested. “I haven’t seen you in awhile.”

He nodded slowly. “Yeah, I was on a different route for a bit.”

“I missed seeing you,” she told him before she could stop the words from spilling out.

He mouth parted, his eyebrows raising a fraction in surprise. “You did?”

“Of course,” she stammered shyly, covering her outburst. “Checking my mail just isn’t the same without you.”

“Oh,” he muttered, looking crestfallen once more. She hated seeing him so down. She wished she could do something to pull him from his grim state. He cleared his throat then, standing a little straighter as he forced a passive expression onto his features. “You’ve got a surprise at home. Best hurry back.”

“A surprise?”  

He nodded back at her, that same blank look in his eyes. “Mhm. I’m sure it’ll make your day.”

She was still confused as he strode passed her, unsure why he was so morose. She wanted to call after him, but he stopped walking before she ever got the chance. He turned, his jaw set and his mouth in a firm line. He took the few steps to bridge the gap between them, standing just in front of her. 

“I just had to tell you, _just_ _once_...” he started quietly, Rey holding her breath in anticipation of his words. “I just needed you to know that I think you’re wonderful. That even if you think it’s ridiculous, the tiny moments I’ve spent with you have been some of the happiest of my life. I promise I’ll never bother you again, but I just had to tell you that. _Just_ _once_.” 

He turned on his heel then, stomping down the sidewalk at a brisk pace and leaving Rey to gape after him. She was floored by his words, his feelings so closely matching hers and leaving her heart to take flight. She felt the stinging of tears at her eyes, the traitorous liquid spilling over onto her cheeks. 

She wanted more than anything to tell him that she felt it too.

She trudged home wearily, her earlier elation having settled into dread, the unsettled feeling in her stomach like that of a stone sinking in the mud. Her steps were heavy on her porch when she finally returned home, weighted and dense as she tracked to her front door. She moved to open it, her keys jingling in her hand as she made for the lock. 

It was wrenched open, the sight of a smiling Poe there to greet her and suddenly she knew what surprise Ben had alluded to. He must have met Poe when he’d delivered their mail. Had it hurt him? Thinking that his feelings would never be returned? Believing Rey lived the perfect life she played for everyone to see?

Poe noticed her crumpled expression, reaching to pull him to her chest as she burst into tears. He cradled her head, pulling her inside the house and leading her to the couch. He ran his thumbs along her cheeks, swiping at the stray tears and appearing at a loss.

“Rey, honey, what’s wrong?” 

She sniffled, wiping at her nose and heaving out a shuddering breath. She reached for Poe’s hand, clutching it for strength. “Poe... I need to tell you something.”

So she did.

She told him about Ben. About the way he made her feel. How the moments she spent with him had become the best parts of her day. She assured Poe she’d never done anything inappropriate, having never put them at risk by stepping over a line... but also that she had never felt this way about someone, and that she was afraid if she didn’t act she would miss out on the opportunity forever.

Poe listened quietly, nodding when the situation called for it but mostly allowing Rey to get everything she’d bottled up out in the open. When she’d finally finished, he gave her a long look, finally covering her hand with his and offering a reassuring smile. 

“Rey... do you love him?” 

“Well, I... I mean I don’t know if you could—goodness I hardly know him—” she stammered, scrambling for an answer.

“ _Rey,_ ” Poe pressed, giving her a beseeching look.

She sucked in a breath, looking back at him for several moments before finally nodding slowly. “I think I might.”

He smiled wide, pulling her to him to crush her in a hug. “Honey, you know I appreciate everything you’ve done for me but you’ve got your own life to live. I _love_ you, Rey. No matter what you do, or where you go, that’ll never change.”

She wrapped her arms around him, so grateful for his friendship and understanding. He was more than she could have ever hoped for in a brother. He leaned back, wearing a playful grin. 

“In fact,” he teased. “I love you so much... I’m going to divorce you.”

She beamed back at him, laughing softly through her watery eyes. “I never thought I’d feel this way about divorce... but thank you, Poe.”

“You know,” he laughed. “I always got the feeling he never did like me. Always seemed tense when I talked to him. Guess we know why now. I reckon the postman probably loves you too.”

She smiled shyly, fiddling with the hem of her dress. “Let’s hope so, Poe. Let’s hope so.”

* * *

  _Ben_

Ben sat listlessly against his couch cushions, content to spend his Sunday wallowing in his own misfortune. It had been weeks since he’d begged his boss to give him a different route, making up all kinds of reasons why his old one had become unsatisfactory. 

He’d thought not being subjected to seeing her every day would lessen the ache, but he’d been so wrong. Now instead he simply _missed_ her terribly. Her laugh, her gentle teasing, the way her face lit up when she spoke to him... he missed it all. 

Sundays seemed to be his only reprieve, able to sit at home and pretend things were different. He could easily still recall her surprised expression when he’d confessed just how much he’d come to care for her. No doubt it had burdened her, how awkward would it be for her to face him after that? He was grateful he’d been able to get himself off her route and avoid putting either of them through that.

Which led him to the present, over a month since he’d seen her face and still just as miserable as before. Did unrequited love never fade? He worried it didn’t. He couldn’t stand the idea of feeling this way forever. It hardly made sense to begin with, his only interactions with Rey being passing moments at her mailbox for months on end. 

Still, even nonsensical his feelings were just as strong as ever. He was afraid that she was it for him, a depressing thought considering she was not _for_  him. He sighed, swirling the amber liquid in his glass and taking another sip. He didn’t drink often, but today had been especially hard for some reason, and he’d given in to the liquid comfort. 

A knock jolted him from his melancholy, confusion flooding him as he wondered who could possibly be visiting on a Sunday. He sat his glass on the side table, rising from the couch and trodding to the front door to urge his visitor to come back another day. He opened the door prepared to do just that, and was taken aback by what he found. 

She looked better than he remembered. The soft chestnut waves tumbled over her shoulders, accentuating the bright yellow of her dress that hugged her in all the right ways. She looked like sunshine itself, brightening the gloom that had become his life. 

“Mrs. Dameron?” he stammered in surprise. “What are you doing here? How did you even find out where I lived?”

She smiled shyly, giving a tiny shake of her head. “Actually, it’s just Ms. now... and I had to ask around. I’m glad I didn’t get the wrong house.”

 _Actually_ , _it’s_ _just_ _Ms_. _now..._

Had he heard her correctly? Could he dare to hope? 

He all but felt the air escape his lungs, breathing becoming a difficult thing as his mind processed this information. “So why are you here?” he repeated quietly.

“I came to deliver your mail,” she replied sweetly, and he noticed then she clutched a postcard in her hands.

“There’s no post on Sundays...” he muttered in shock.

“I know,” she affirmed. “Still, I thought this was important.”

She held it out to him, a simple scene of a mailbox amidst a flower bed that would have made him smile had his heart not been pounding away in his chest so rapidly. He turned it over, reading a delicate script on the back that he took to be her own.

 _Ben_ ,

_I just needed you to know that I think you’re wonderful. That even if you think it’s ridiculous, the tiny moments I’ve spent with you have been some of the happiest of my life. I needed too to know that I feel it too, and if you’ll let me... I want to have so many more._

_Love,_  
_Rey_

  
He read her words what seemed a dozen times in that moment, time almost standing still as he let himself get lost in their meaning. 

“But your husband...?” 

She shook her head. “It’s never been what you think. I’m trusting you with this knowledge in hopes you are the person I believe you to be... but Ben, my marriage was a lavender marriage.”

His eyes widened with understanding, reeling with this new information. “Then you and him...”

She nodded. “Poe is practically a brother to me. I love him very much, but I was never _in_ love with him.”

Ben allowed himself a breath, the deep intake of air feeling as the first time. “So you... you got a divorce?”

She looked away from him, nerves apparent in her expression and demeanor. “It wasn’t easy, and I know that now I will be looked at with reproach. If that’s too much for you, I completely understand. I would _never_ fault you if you couldn’t—”

His arms were around her before she could utter even one more word. His heart soared with her revelation, not caring in the slightest what state her social status was in. 

“ _Rey,”_ hewhispered into her hair.

She recovered from the shock of his sudden embrace, her arms reaching to clutch at the fabric at his waist as she buried her face in his chest. “That’s the first time you’ve said my name.”

He smiled, closing his eyes and letting his cheek rest on the crown of her head. “I couldn’t call you by name if I couldn’t call you my own.”

She pushed back, eyes meeting his evenly as a torrent of emotion raged behind their depths. “Would you? Even knowing what people will say?”

“In a heartbeat. I don’t need them, I just need you.” He breathed.

She beamed up at him, her smile breathing new life into his weary soul and making him whole again. His eyes flicked to her mouth, wrought with the need to claim it and he looked to her in silent permission. She nodded softly, leaning into him sweetly and his hands went to her jaw to pull her closer.

When his lips met hers, he found her lips sweeter than any treat, their softness against his own unlike anything he could have imagined. He pulled her tightly against him, his hands splaying over the small of her back as hers fisted the fabric of his shirt. 

When they broke apart, they were breathless, still clinging to one another as if afraid to let go. Ben let his thumb trace the delicate line of her jaw, still in shock that he could be so lucky. 

“Do you... do you want to come in?” 

She bit her lip, tucking away a shy smile as she nodded softly. “Yes, Ben. I would like that very much.”

* * *

  _Rey_

She followed him inside, nervous suddenly to be in his space. She realized then just how little she actually knew about Ben, and wondered if coming here had been too forward. Would he think less of her for doing so? 

“It’s not much... but it’s home,” he offered quietly.

She glanced around at the tidy space, his home somehow suiting him. He stood by the couch in his living room, watching her as she took in his home. “It’s perfect.”

He still looked at her as if he believed her to be a dream, standing anxiously as he regarded her. His eyes though, she saw a longing there she couldn’t believe she’d never noticed before. As if she were the only person he saw. 

Emboldened, she made slow steps to bridge the gap between them, coming to rest beside him and slowly reaching to run her fingers through his hair. Her palm rested against his cheek, and he turned to press a kiss there as his own hand moved to cover hers. 

“Is it alright that I’m here?” 

He let out a deep sigh, his lips curving into a smile. “It’s more than alright.”

“I’d... I’d really like for you to kiss me again,” she breathed, hoping that she wasn’t being too forward. He pulled her against him, his large hands gripping at her waist and leaving sparks of sensation beneath her skin. 

He said nothing in reply, simply angling his head to capture her mouth. She sighed in relief, heat pooling in her belly as his tongue pressed insistently against her lips. She opened for him, his tongue snaking inside and she moaned softly against the warmth of it all. 

He gripped her tighter, pulling her body flush with his chest. Her hands fell to the hard planes, smoothing over his shirt and below to the taut muscle of his stomach. She felt his abdomen clench beneath her touch, a low hum sounding from him as he broke away to catch his breath. 

“Rey, when you touch me like that I— well it’s hard to control myself.” 

She pulled her lip between her teeth, chewing it softly as she considered. “Maybe I don’t want you to.”

His mouth fell open, momentarily at a loss for words. When he spoke, his voice was grated and tense as if barely containing himself. “Are you sure?”

She nodded, suddenly more sure of this than of anything in her entire life. All at once he crashed into her, pulling her closer than she could possibly be as his mouth covered hers in a bruising kiss. Never before had she felt so close to another person, wanting to mold herself to him and never let go. 

His fingers tangled in her hair, his tongue possessing her mouth as if he owned it and for all intents and purposes she would say that he did. His hips pressed into hers, and through the fabric of her skirt she could feel the heavy press of him against her thigh, physical evidence of his want for her. 

It was a heady feeling, driving him to such levels of need, but underneath it all she felt a lingering fear that she would not be enough for him. He stooped suddenly to sweep an arm beneath her legs, pulling her to his chest before resuming his assault on her mouth. He carried her down the hall in search of what she assumed was his bedroom, and she knew they were passing a point of no return. 

She wanted this, wanted him, but she was afraid her inexperience would somehow lessen the experience for him. When he laid her across his bed, she pushed at his chest, halting his efforts. 

“I’m sorry, is this too fast? I didn’t mean to push you. We can wait until you’re ready,” he assured her, misunderstanding her hesitance.

“No, Ben, I— I want this very much. It’s just...” she looked away, embarrassed.

He gently pulled at her chin, tilting her gaze back to his. “Tell me. What is it?”

“I haven’t— I’ve never—” she took a deep breath to calm her nerves. “I’ve never done this.”

His eyes widened, seemingly stunned by her admission. “Never?”

She shook her head. “I never had anyone... anyone that I ever wanted this with. Of course after there was Poe but obviously nothing happened there.”

He gaped at her, blowing out a sharp puff of air. “Rey, I—”

She cut him off before he could finish the thought. “I know that might make it not as enjoyable for you, but I promise I’ll do my best to—”

He silenced her with his lips, pressing her deeper into the mattress. When she’d quieted he let his forehead rest against hers, murmuring against her mouth. “I don’t think you can ever understand how overjoyed I am to know that I’ll be your first. That in turn I’ll be your _only_. Because you have to know that you’re it for me, Rey. You’re all I’ll ever want.”

She grinned, relief and contentment flooding through her as she wanted under the caress of his words. “I think you’re it for me too.”

“Rey,” he started. “I know it’s crazy, and I know that there’s no good reason for me to feel this way but I—”

She pressed a finger to his lips, shushing him. “I love you too.”

He beamed down at her. “You do?”

“Even if it’s crazy,” she assured him.

He pulled her close, pressing fervent kisses along the length of her throat. “I love you,” he branded into her skin. “So much.”

She gripped at the loose strands curling at his nape, arching her neck as he continued to pepper her skin with kisses.

“Then show me,” she begged. “Show me how much.”

* * *

  _Ben_  

Any moment he knew he would wake up and this would all be a dream. How could he be so lucky that she would not only accept his love, but return it? He thought of all the time they’d wasted, all the heart ache he’d endured. He knew without a doubt he would do it all again too, if it led him to this moment. 

He propped up on his hands, staring down at her disheveled state. Her hair lay around her like a halo, accentuating the flush of her cheeks and the brightness of her eyes. She gazed up at him as if all her trust rested with him, and he could think of no better place to keep it. He would treasure it and her forever if she’d let him.

He reached for the buttons at her collar, his eyes never leaving hers as he slowly undid them. Each one revealed just a little more of the pale flesh beneath, and by the time he’d gotten them undone to the waist his fingers shook with need. 

He could see a hint of white lace as the fabric parted, reveling in the knowledge that he was the only man who had ever seen her like this. That no one else would ever see her like this. He lowered his mouth to the smooth bend at her shoulder, pressing a firm kiss to the skin there as he gently pushed the sleeves of her dress over her shoulders. 

Rey let out a soft sigh as he unleashed his tongue, tasting the slim column of her throat as his hand roamed over the thin material of her bra. He could feel her nipple taut beneath the fabric, tight against his palm and he began to knead the soft flesh. 

Rey moaned prettily in his ear, her hands reaching to tangle in his hair as he devoted attention to her skin. Sliding a hand underneath her, his fingers brushed against the clasp of her bra, working the pieces apart until it fell loose from her. He raised up, staring down at her hooded eyes for only a moment before slowly pulling the garment from her body. 

Rey lay beneath him, naked from the waist up and for a moment he could only drink in the sight of her. He wanted to commit every curve to memory, map the sweet expanse of her body with his eyes so that he would never forget it. She was the most beautiful creature he’d ever laid eyes on.

“Rey,” he whispered reverently. “You’re perfect.”

She smiled shyly, reaching out her arms in invitation. Needing to feel her skin against his, he quickly rid himself of his shirt, tossing it aside before lowering to cover her mouth with his. His arms encircled her, pulling her against him as his tongue swept into her mouth. 

She was so soft, fitting against his body as if she were made for him. He wanted to taste all of her, trace every bend and hollow with his tongue until he knew it by heart. With that intent in mind, he broke from her mouth, trailing a heated path of kisses over her jaw and lower still down her throat. 

She shuddered when his lips ghosted over her collarbone, his tongue darting out to trace it before moving lower. He glanced up at her when his mouth hovered over her nipple, her eyes wide and dark as she watched him pull the hardened bud into his mouth.

A whimper escaped her when he wrapped his lips firmly around it, sucking hard while letting his tongue roll over it languidly. She arched upwards, pressing further into his mouth and squirming against his assault. He pressed a hand to her hip, stilling her movements before releasing her nipple with an audible _pop_. He drifted then, moving to give attention to its twin. 

He let his hand slide up the smooth expanse of her calf, trailing upwards over her thigh. Her skirt bunched around his  wandering hand, and it was no time at all before he could feel the damp fabric of her underwear against his fingers. He pressed against her, his fingers parting her through the cotton as she shuddered into his touch. 

Slowly he worked his fingers against the soft cotton, her skirts proving to be a hindrance and eventually giving him a need to raise upwards. He ceased his attention below long enough to work the dress from her body, his eyes flicking to her in search of permission as he hooked his thumbs into the band of her underwear. 

She bit her lip, nodding slowly and he dragged the scrap down her legs to bare her fully to him. He swallowed thickly, his blood rushing in his ears. He brushed his palm up her thigh, parting her legs further  to reveal the rosy hue of her glistening center. 

He loomed over her, propping himself up by one arm as he moved his fingers through her drenched folds. _So_ _wet_. She was so impossibly wet and it was all for _him_. No other man had done this to her. No other man ever _would_. She was _his_.

He sunk two fingers inside, her inner walls clenching around them as a soft gasp escaped her. Already he imagined what she would feel like around his cock and he had to will himself to slow down so as not to overwhelm her. 

He ducked to imprint a kiss on her ribs, drawing a path downwards over her belly and lingering at her hip. He looked up at her, her wide eyes still watching him intently. 

“I want you in my mouth, Rey. I want to get you ready for me. Is that okay?” 

She hesitated, her features painted with embarrassment but to his amazement she gave him a soft nod. He loved that she was so trusting, placing her faith in him to show her pleasure. 

He dipped his head, his mouth only a breath away from her sex and he hummed in approval to find her watching him intently. He caught her gaze as he let his tongue drag through her folds, licking a hot stripe through her core as her back bowed from the bed. He gripped at her thighs, holding her in place as he repeated the motion. 

He explored her thoroughly, taking his time to learn which motions sparked the most sensation from her. She mewled loudly when he wrapped his lips around the swollen bud at the apex, hollowing his cheeks to suck and causing her to cry out. She squirmed against his grasp, her hands tugging at his hair roughly as she tried to decide whether she wanted to pull him closer or push him away. 

He lapped at the taut bundle of nerves, alternating between swipes of his tongue and pulls of his lips. He felt her thighs trembling against his ears, rolling her hips into his face in search of more. She came on his tongue with a shudder, eliciting a soft cry as her knees clenched around his head. 

He continued to lap at her slowly, guiding her through her orgasm until she relaxed around him. He crawled over her then, his hand cupping her jaw as he kissed her languidly. She sighed into his mouth, her eyes fluttering closed. 

He felt her small hands roving over his abdomen, a slim finger hooking into his waistband and tugging experimentally. 

“I want to see all of you.” 

He grinned against her mouth, her eagerness only furthering his excitement. “Anything, Rey. I’ll give you anything.”

* * *

  _Rey_

Beautiful. Ben was _beautiful_. Every dip and divot of hard muscle was like a work of art, and Rey found the longer she looked at him the more addicted she got to the sight. Her heart still pounded away inside her chest, the rhythm erratic and hastened from the earth shattering orgasm he’d given her. She had come before, at her own hand, but it was _nothing_  compared to what he’d done to her. 

She watched as he rose to his knees, his strong fingers working the button of his pants. He pushed the fabric over his thighs, the tented front of his stark white underwear leaving nothing to the imagination. 

She reached her hand out curiously, cupping his length through the fabric as he moaned in pleasure. She tugged at the band, freeing his erection and it jutted outward heavily. He pushed at his underwear, letting them join his pants as he kicked out of both to kneel over her nude. 

She slid her fingers over the velvety hardness, Ben closing his eyes and thrusting into her hand. She rubbed her thumb against the tip, smearing the beaded liquid gathered there. 

“ _Rey,_ ” he groaned. “You’re so damned _beautiful_. I keep thinking I’ll wake up and this will be a dream.”

She smiled, winding her arms around him to pull him her. His weight settled over her pleasantly, warm and solid as they melded together. She could feel his length resting heavily against her throbbing center, his hips moving slightly to part her folds as he slid against her. 

Her mind clouded with want, her skin feeling flushed and heated. 

“Mm,” Ben rasped into her hair. “Don’t move.”

He rose then, reaching into the bedside table and pulling out a tiny red and white packet. He tore the packet with his teeth, pulling out a thin bit of rubber and sliding it over his length.

“Do you... do you do this a lot?” Rey asked, suddenly nervous. 

Ben shook his head. “Not for a long time. Not at all since... well since I met you.”

“Really?” 

He nodded. “I couldn’t help it. Ever since I met you... it’s only ever been you.”

She smiled, leaning on her elbows to press her lips to his. He pushed her back to the bed, his mouth moving softly over hers as his hand moved between her legs. He groaned into her mouth when he found her still so ready, and he broke away to meet her gaze. 

She nodded softly, watching with wide eyes as Ben took himself in hand to press at her entrance. He pushed into her slowly, the intrusion warm and pleasant as she felt him slide inside. When he met with inevitable resistance, he whispered and apology against her lips before capturing them for a searing kiss. 

He surged forward, a sharp sting tearing through her before slowly starting to dissipate. He held still as she adjusted, the initial unpleasantness giving way to a pleasurable fullness. It was no time at all before the pain faded into nothing, the only sensation left in its wake that of the feeling of Ben filling her completely. 

“I’m okay,” she whispered. “Move, Ben.”

His lips glided over her jaw, settling into the bend of her shoulder as he pulled out slow. She could feel him everywhere, his movements slow and torturous and sending jolts of pleasure through her. When he pushed back inside, he did so with more force, Rey gasping softly as her nails dug into the hard muscle of his shoulders. 

Each withdraw came faster and faster, Ben building a rhythm that left her breathless. She felt things she’d never felt before, a closeness she could have never imagined and she wanted never to lose it. Never to lose _him_. 

He became relentless in his thrusts, his breath escaping him in sharp huffs that she felt washing over the shell of her ear. She felt a pressure building, a slow burn of pleasure brewing deep inside with every thrust. She canted her hips, allowing Ben to hit deeper inside her as her head swam with sensation. 

“ _Ben_ , I—” she gasped, clutching at his skin. 

“Come, Rey,” he rasped, his fingers digging into her hip so tight they would surely leave a bruise. “Come with me.”

His hand smoothed over her belly, his thumb dipping to press into the swollen bud at her center and sending Rey over the edge. She called out his name, her thighs clenching around his waist and her fingers finding purchase in his skin as she trembled around him. 

He tensed, a deep moan escaping him before his hips slammed into hers a final time. She felt him twitching inside her, Rey feeling new and wonderful and she closed her eyes to revel in their closeness. His breath was deep and labored, his strong arms around her shaking slightly as he emptied himself inside.

He slid out of her with a groan when he’d finished, disposing of the johnny quickly and falling to his side to pull her against him. Her face lay inches from his, his eyes roving over her visage reverently as his fingers combed through the loose strands at her temple.

“I don’t ever want to let you go.” 

“Then don’t,” she urged. “I don’t want you to.”

“Where are you staying?” 

“Oh, well. I’m still staying with Poe. It seemed the easiest option.” 

He shook his head vehemently. “No. Stay here. Stay with _me_.”

She frowned. “People will talk, Ben.”

“Let them,” he replied flippantly. “I don’t care what they say.”

“No one will accept us living in sin.” 

“Well,” he resigned. “We’ll just get married.”

Her mouth fell open, slightly in shock by his outburst. “Ben, I... I mean we... well, people will talk then too, you know.”

He shrugged. “I still won’t care.”

She stared at him incredulously, in disbelief that he could be so cavalier with his reputation. “I couldn’t do that to you. I couldn’t bear the thought of anyone being unkind to you because of me.”

“Rey,” he started resolutely. “I don’t care about anyone else. I don’t need them... I just need you.”

She felt tears sting at her eyes, his thumb grazing over her cheek to wipe them away. She sucked in a shaky breath, considering all he’d said before finally offering him a shy smile. 

“But if we get married... you won’t get to deliver my mail anymore.” 

He barked out a laugh. “I could think of... _other_ packages to bring you.”

Rey giggled, her fingers winding through the hair at his nape to pull him close. “Oh my,” she said coyly, her lips hovering over his. “ _Please_ , Mr. Postman... give me all that and more.”

She kissed him them, the firm press of her lips a fervent promise. He hummed in approval, his hand curling possessively over her hip and pulling her as close as she could possibly be.

Breaking away he murmured, “Say yes, Rey.”

Grinning against his mouth, she found her answer as easy as breathing. “ _Yes_.”

**Author's Note:**

>   
>  Thanks for reading!  
> Come say hi on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kylotrashforever)!  
> I made a [Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/KTF_Reylo), come follow me!


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